We all need to change from time to time, be it from a need, desire or threat (a need as well). Being out of boredom, excitement or health/life threatening reason, all lasting changes happen when we decide to start something new and end something old. They happen in a space of self-control, patience, and consistent small but sure steps towards our goal.
We need then the resilience around maintaining the shift mentally and the trust that it will eventually yield expected results.
It would be easier for lasting changes to really last if they are “seasoned” with:
- Clarity and awareness of the need as well as capability to change; becoming capable to change is a “muscle” trained in instances where you needed to do it differently and there was no other option or way around it.
- The right motivation. Do you really WANT to change something? Sit quietly with yourself and figure out the real benefits of change, as well as the benefits of maintaining the status quo, no matter how frustrating or energy dragging that is. Tony Robbins, the most well-known american coach came up with a years-long researched conclusion that some people get attention (actually, validation) by working towards becoming successful, while others by having a really long and hard to figure out problem that they cannot solve.
- Trained patience. The smallest sign of success will boost your belief and capability, so train your patience to maintain yourself motivated.
- Trust. Holding a “never giving up” attitude is the best choice for your internal state and dialogue.
Did you know that more than 50% of illnesses are caused by human behaviour?
If you want a healthier, stronger heart or to loose weight you, on one hand set a goal to start something different, like eating healthier or exercising more and, in the same time, to stop or diminish some of your damaging health habits.
And you do these with awareness, the right motivation, patience, trust and consistency.
Are you capable? Are you motivated? Do you think that the context helps you, are there enough external opportunities to support you when your internal space needs it?
The day the doctor told my grandfather he had lung cancer he stopped smoking. In one day. For good. After years of past trying, to no avail.
He started eating healthier food (even found a piece of land outside the town to farm a small vegetable garden). He started taking long walks in the evening.
He was aware of the real need and motivate himself to become capable. Unfortunately, out of fear of death. But succeeded to postpone the imminent event for some good years.
How many times you hear people around swearing they are not able to give up smoking, or other bad habbit…? To many times, and unfortunately, in some cases, too late.
You need the resilience muscle so that, when you do not see fast results, you do not return to your damaging routine.
Aware that no lasting changes happen overnight.
Aware that a behavioural shift is, at first, hungry for proofs, that it is buying your precious time to divert your interests, it challenges your routine principles and becomes a good friend with your self-validation doubting dialogue.
Grow your awareness that you are the only one responsible, able and capable to change things that don’t benefit you any longer.
Make sure that you, in fact, do not seek other people’s attention, help, or care, by having that constant “problem” that you cannot solve.
Cultivate and train patience and consistency as valuable assets and efficient internal resources available to help you get and maintain beneficial shifts.
When the bad and the ugly hit you and you need to make a change, keep an open question in your mind to the universe within you: “What else can and is possible”? This helps you open up on new perspectives to be able to make the necessary shifts towards the more and the better existing in and out there.